An intro, an apology and some right-wing crap

Hello, let me introduce myself and apologize. I have never, ever written a blog before so I can guarantee that it will be an odd article. In fact, do you call them articles on t'internet? It's post or something like that. Those of you who have read Polself's magnificent work, then I hope you'll be pleased with my right-wing ramblings. I am a staunch Tory (indeed a member), and thus I am naturally unhappy with the Labour government. Here goes my right wing crusade. Liberals, look away now.
The problem with Labour at the moment is that they are too namby-pamby with crime. “It’s not their fault” they say. Well quite frankly, that is rubbish. A person has total control over themselves, with the exception of those who are mentally ill, of course. (That's bound to offend someone). A person, who has offended once, will inevitably offend again. This, of course, is mainly the scourge of our society, the ones we call “chavs.” I don’t like them. There are often 12 or 13 year olds on the metro who take the Michael out of me for being ginger. I like to tell them that they should be in school or that they are very clever (in a sarcastic tone) for noticing my hair colour. They can’t deal with intelligence. These people often commit petty crimes such as vandalism and making loud noises etc. Instead of handing out ASBOs, which are worn with pride by some, the government should introduce on the spot fines for this idiotic behaviour. It would be a great source of revenue for the government, and would certainly be a deterrent. The only thing people love more than themselves is money. This would be especially effective on those carrying knives. In fact, I would allow police to search people on suspicion alone, like Boris is doing in London. Yes, I am aware that this may be against human rights, but honestly, would you really like to see a potential criminal walk away free on the basis of human rights? I certainly wouldn’t.
For the more serious crimes, like murder, I would re-introduce the death penalty. A preposterous statement in today’ society I know, but I really think it would help reduce crime. It would serve as a huge deterrent for those who think about committing any sort of crime. It would also reduce the tax burden. It costs on average around £6000 to keep a prisoner in jail, in addition to the luxury cells they receive. With the execution of the serious offenders, the tax payer may have an extra couple of quid in pocket. The death penalty will also reduce prison overcrowding, which is a major problem for the government at the moment. If I was Prime Minister, I would re-introduce this, it is a simply marvellous idea.
Moving on from that slightly flawed but right argument, I’d like to talk about the massive cost of living that has encircled the UK taxpayers recently. With fuel prices rising to nearly £1.30 a litre and CPI Inflation at over 4%, it has become increasingly difficult to be prosperous in the UK. I, naturally, blame Labour. Since 1997, New Labour has literally thrown money at the public services. This is all well and good but when you consider the huge wastage of money on pointless computer systems and equipment used once every 2 years, it is hugely annoying. The government has run budget deficits every year since 1997 i.e. they have spent more than they have earned in tax. This sounds very good for those who know little about politics and the economy. They seem like a caring government. WRONG! If the Chancellor (Gordon Brown) had any competency, then he would have run budget surpluses (opposite of budget deficit) in the time of economic boom, i.e. saving for a rainy day. But Mr Brown did not do this and now the government has its hands tied. We are in a bit of a pickle now aren’t we Mr Brown? People often forget that Brown sold all of the UK’s gold reserves when the market was at rock bottom, so basically the UK has lost a load of money. Yes, we have experienced 10 years or so of economic boom, but I would argue that the Conservatives beforehand started this. They are the ones who made inflation the prime economic goal and introduced supply side policies. Labour has taken the credit for this, which I don’t like, because they have now screwed up our economy and it is their fault.
What else do I need to talk about? Ah yes, any good Tory will bang on about Europe and how bureaucratic and infuriating local councils are. Right, Europe. The EU is an intrusive and irritating organisation which is slowly sucking up the UK’s sovereignty. I recently read an article that the EU had legislation which limited the size and bendiness of cucumbers and bananas. That is absolutely ludicrous. There is mass food shortages in Africa, and the EU are disposing of food that is perfectly edible because it doesn’t look right. Thankfully, the EU has repealed this legislation. Nevertheless, the EU is something that the UK really doesn’t need. Local council legislation is something that really exasperates me. I’ve read about local councils fining people because their bin lid wouldn’t go all the way down. Preposterous! My council, Tynedale, is quite good actually. I find no problems with them, but some councils are very, very tedious indeed.
That'll do for a first post, I hope. None of the stats have been made up, well most of them. I think it's gone well. My right wing ramblings have probably made me some enemies, and that’s fine. I may have got some fans, you never know. I have really enjoyed writing this article, being a right winger and all; it feels really good to lay into socialists and Labour. I’m assuming it was like marmite this article; you either loved it, or absolutely despised it. Fabulous. Anyway, this is me signing off for now. My next article, sorry, post, will be when something interesting happens politically in the UK, like when Gordon Brown resigns or something; fingers crossed!!!



Sam Shepherd is the writer for UK Economic and Political affairs